The Mystery of the Naked Chosen Children
by Ukaisha
Summary: Oh dear, someone has stolen the clothes of the Frontier children, and they are running about quite naked! Well, save for beach towels covering the importants. Who on earth could be behind this treachery! *Completely random, made for laffs.*


Disclaimer: The author takes absolutely no stake or claim on any characters mentioned.  
A/N: "Random" fanfic I've always wanted to write. Not even remotely serious; I was just bored. x3 Hope it amuses you and makes up for all the crap I'm NOT working on.  
Feel free to comment about how much a waste of time this was. Or if you enjoyed it, that's great too. Thanks for humoring me. And please feel free to check out more of my serious work. x3  
Updated for a very embarrassingly obvious mistake that NO ONE noticed. May 31st, 2008 was a Saturday, not a Sunday.  
Duh.

The Mystery of the Naked Chosen Children

The offer was certainly tempting; now that the Toucanmon weren't mindless love-slaves of Ranamon and were completely on their side, it was just a matter of convenience that they treat themselves to being their guests. After all, they were in the area, the Royal Knights were taking a breather in God-knows-where, and they were way, way over due for a break. There was no harm in a nice lunch and then a quick romp in the sea, right?  
What could possibly go wrong?  
Tomoki was the first to notice something the mischief. After hours of swimming in the salty ocean, the children completely immersed themselves in huge, open baths to clean themselves off before continuing their journey. All that separated the boys from the single girl was a thin sheet hanging across the middle, but at this point, all five boys knew very, very well that trying to get a peek at her would result in massive blood loss.  
"I still don't understand why you get half the bath while we get the other half. There's one of you, and five of us," loudly complained Takuya. Secretly, Kouji nodded in agreement, but he hid this by dunking his head under the mouth of a dragon-head waterfall; he was vainly trying to wash his hair of the nasty salt feeling, and by his grumbles, it wasn't working. He was secretly angry that Izumi had taken all the shampoo and conditioner for herself, but after all, whining about it was a threat to his manhood. The lone wolf did not complain.  
"Well, as the only girl, I need to feel secure that I'm completely out of sight from you boys. That damn thing barely counts as a barrier; if you were to actually take the majority of the bath five of you deserved, it would be SO easy for you to peek in, and get out." Izumi was just lazily lying back and enjoying herself, happily letting lavender-scented bubble bath completely consume her half.  
"It'd be harder, wouldn't it?" inquired Kouichi. "Because you'd be in a smaller area, it would be easier to notice if someone came closer to your area because instead of having to scour a whole half, possibly missing something because it takes so long to check, you'd just have to focus on a few yards."  
"Izumi-chan is probably just more comfortable with her own half," decided Junpei with a 'And that's that!' tone. "It would be uncomfortable being surrounded by all of us."  
"True; especially since we can practically see each other's shadows through the sheet, and the water is very clear. You could probably see her legs even if you didn't look under the sheet."  
"Are you on my side or his?" Takuya muttered irritably, and Kouichi replied,  
"Neither; I just offer a logical opinion when I see it."  
It was at this point Tomoki decided to make his entrance with the bad news. He had a sea-green towel wrapped around his waist, and he looked a little embarrassed, almost like he wanted to just hop back in the bath and wait until someone ELSE had to tell them what was going on.  
Kouji hit his limit; he couldn't take it anymore; "Izumi, are you almost done with the shampoo?"  
"Sure I am. You should've asked." A pink bottle came soaring through the air like a rocket, and splashed onto the boy's side. Kouji eagerly dove for it, and came back up already trying to squirt it into his hands. A few seconds later, another bottle came whizzing by too, and Kouji caught it in his other hand. He was grinning, very happy with himself. Takuya was snickering, but Junpei missed the whole exchange; Tomoki had caught his attention.  
"Tomoki, weren't you going to get dressed?" Tomoki rubbed his arm, still a little embarrassed. Suddenly, all four boys had their attention on him.  
"Uh...well, you see..."  
"DON'T tell me our Digivices were stolen again," Takuya said, completely exasperated. "I'm just going to drown myself right here and now if they were."  
"How'd you lose them in the first place?" curiously asked Kouichi. "That's kind of dumb; that's the sort of thing you should have on or near you at all times." Kouichi jerked his thumb over his shoulder; rather than leaving his valuables in an unlocked dressing room, he'd brought his Digivice with him, tucked safely in his towel. Kouji was busy soaping up his hair.  
"Uh, no, it's not that."  
"Are you sure? You checked they're there, right?" Junpei looked like he was getting out of the bath, but Tomoki assured him,  
"Yeah, they're there. It's just...um...something else isn't."  
"Get on with it," Kouji said sharply from under his waterfall. He was frantically soaking down his hair so that he could jump out at a moment's notice, and even Izumi was peeking around the curtain, careful to only show her head.  
"Our clothes are missing."  
Silence.  
"What do you mean our clothes are missing? So our D-scanners are too?" Izumi asked.  
"No...just the clothes. I mean..." Tomoki went red. "I don't know about yours Izumi-san...I didn't go in the girl's dressing room."  
"Who'd take our clothes but leave our D-scanners?" Takuya said angrily. He turned around and pulled himself out of the bath, and Izumi whipped her head back around to her side of the curtain.  
"He's right, that doesn't make any sense." Kouichi was also pulling himself out of the bath, and Junpei followed. Kouji gave a longing glance at the conditioner, but just dunked his head in the water one last time, and pulled himself out of the bath too.  
"Are you SURE that NONE of our clothes are there?" Junpei demanded as he tried to wrap a towel around his waist. To his embarrassment, the towel he'd brought was a little short for his width, so he began to tie two together to cover himself instead.  
"None. When I realized mine were gone, I checked everyone else's. They're just...gone. But our D-scanners are just sitting there, right in the middle of our bins."  
Takuya had barely even picked up his towel when he started running towards the dressing rooms, and the other four hurried closely behind him.  
"Great; leave the only girl out of it," Izumi said loudly from her end of the bath, and when she was met with silence, she sighed. What was she supposed to do? She couldn't walk around NAKED in front of those boys, with just a towel on...

"See?" Tomoki said desperately as the other boys rummaged through the room, hunting high and low for any kind of clothing, even a sock. "The Digivices are here, just not the clothes."  
"That's strange," commented Kouichi, who took one look in his empty bin and gave up the search rather than fruitlessly hunting.  
"It's a pain in the ass," growled his twin in response as he violently pulled out unused bins from their racks, one by one, as if magically expecting to encounter his clothes in bins he'd never used. "The bastard even took my hair-tie!"  
"What sort of benefit would someone get from stealing our clothes?" wondered Junpei, who had by now also given up the search.  
"I don't know...there's no one here but us," said Tomoki a little quietly, as if expecting to be hit with the blame. After all, he was the only one in here when they disappeared.  
"They're just trying to tick us off, maybe," muttered Takuya. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed.  
"You're right," said Kouji, "All that we know is that this was a prank meant to annoy us, not to harm us. If they had malevolent intentions, they would've taken the Digivices."  
"Huzzah, I was right."  
"Can I come in, boys?" said a muffled voice from beyond the door; there was a knock.  
"Sure, whatever," Takuya shouted back. He readjusted his towel to make sure it covered everything important; the others did the same.  
"Are you still naked?"  
"As the day we were born," Kouji called back sarcastically, but Junpei amended this immediately with,  
"But we have towels on, so it's fine." Izumi hesitantly opened the door, and stuck her head through. She was covered with a thick white towel, so large and wide that a single one adequately covered her entire body.  
"Mine are gone too," she said miserably. "And I can't find the Toucanmon."  
"Maybe they're behind it! We need to go find them!" Junpei shoved one fist into the palm of his other hand, as if emphasizing his determination.  
"I don't think it was the Toucanmon," Kouji interrupted. "I purposely put mine in the very top shelf where they couldn't reach it."  
"Yeah, me too," agreed Takuya. There was silence for a moment, finally broken by Kouichi, who clapped his hands and said cheerily,  
"Well gang, it looks like we've got a mystery-"  
"Kouichi."  
"Yes, Kouji."  
"No Scooby-Doo references. They're juvenile."  
"'Elementary,' that is to say, my dear-"  
"Nor Sherlock Holmes."  
"How-"  
"Or 'Detective Conan.'" Silence.  
"A Shinigami-"  
"Or 'Death Note.'"  
"...Law and Order."  
"...I can deal with Law and Order."  
"Sweet."

_In the criminal justice system, some mysteries are so stupid that even a gaggle of teenage children can figure them out. In the Digital World, the semi-dedicated members who observe these mysteries (and yet rarely solve them) are known as the "Digi-Destined Unit." Regardless, these are their stories._

--  
**The Girl's Dressing Room  
May 31st, Saturday, 3:45 p.m.  
--**

"Why are we in here?" sighed Kouji as they rummaged through the girl's dressing room. "Our clothes wouldn't be in here for any reason."  
"Well, I figured like...maybe someone switched us around and put our clothes in the girl's dressing room," explained Takuya. "Then we'd never find it because we're not supposed to be in here."  
"Unusual, but possible," Junpei said hopefully, and Kouji shot back,  
"Then they'd have done the same and put Izumi's clothes in our dressing room. Did you see any sign of her stuff in there?"  
"...Oh. No, I guess not. Not a good plan then, huh?"  
"A sinker," confirmed Kouichi.

--  
**The Dining Room  
May 31st, Saturday, 3:48 p.m.**  
--

"I don't think anyone would hide our clothes in here," said Tomoki doubtfully as they spread out. "I mean, there's no real place to hide anything in here."  
"He's right, it's too open," agreed Kouji.  
"Hey, look!" Junpei was kneeling down, looking closely at something he found highly interesting. In a flash, the rest of the group was crowded around his find.  
"What is that?" wondered Izumi.  
"A footprint!" said Tomoki excitedly. "It could be a clue!"  
"Shall I write it in our handy-dandy notebook?"  
"No, Kouichi."  
"It looks like it could be the Toucanmon's!" Takuya glared closer at it. "It definitely is! It proves them at the scene of the crime!"  
"Well," began Izumi, and everyone turned to look at her. "They DO own this place you know...it's kind of a given their footprints would be everywhere."  
"...Oh. Yeah. That's true too."  
The group sighed and stood; most unfortunately, Junpei's two towels gave out, and after a split second of extremely, EXTREMELY awkward staring, everyone scrambled away.  
"Oh, come on, that isn't fair!" Junpei was red in the face and he hastily tied his towels back together.

--  
**The Bath  
May 31st, Saturday, 3:53 p.m.**  
--

"Is that towel better, Junpei?"  
"MUCH better; thank you. How come you have these great towels and we have really crappy ones?" Izumi shrugged in response; Junpei now wore one of Izumi's nice, long, fluffy towels, and it completely wrapped around his whole waist.  
"I don't know why we didn't think of this before," Takuya was saying. "I mean, duh, we don't HAVE to walk around naked. We can just put our swim trunks back on."  
"...That'd be a good idea...if they were there." Kouichi was looking a little confused. "I left mine right on this rock; where'd you guys put yours?"  
"Right there." Takuya pointed at another rock, void of any such item of clothing. "Or...it WAS there."  
"Now, how could someone have gotten in here and stolen our swim trunks, without us noticing, and gotten out THAT quickly without us noticing again?" demanded Kouji. "This place has been deserted! We're the only ones walking around."  
"Maybe it's one of our own," suggested Kouichi, and everyone took a suspicious look at each other. Tomoki cringed, expecting the blame to finally fall on him;  
"I'll bet it was Patamon!" Takuya said, beating a fist into his other hand. "He's childish enough to call this a prank."  
"Excellent reasoning, except he's off somewhere with Bokomon and Neemon, and not here, and there's no way he could've gotten away with all of our clothes by himself." This, of course, was Kouji.  
"Maybe he like...evolved. Or even more likely, he developed some sort of tropical disease that...gave him super strength! That's it."  
"Based on the symptoms, it was probably Lupus." This, of course, was Kouichi.

--  
**The Front Deck  
May 31st, Saturday, 3:58 p.m.  
--**

"Well, I don't really see how anything could be hiding here," Junpei grunted as everyone toppled onto the little porch. The VERY little porch. It was almost impossible for all six of them to be on it at once, especially when they were desperately trying to avoid touching each other.  
"Probably not...but you never know." All of them looked pathetically onwards, where lay the beach. "Do we HAVE to go get our feet sandy again?"  
"Yeah, my skin is already dry enough," whined Izumi.  
"I'm not looking forward to getting sand in my hair again," said Kouji under his breath. He was struggling in vain to keep his hair from becoming a fluffy, frizzy mess; in the sea breeze, it was impossible.  
"So it's agreed; we're not going out there again." There was a unanimous 'no', and they tumbled back inside again.

--  
**The Dining Room (Again)  
May 31st, Saturday, 4:00 p.m.  
--**

"This is bull," grumbled Izumi. "We need to make some sort of fascinating discovery."  
"Well, the Toucanmon have souvenir clothes, right?" offered Tomoki, and Takuya cheered.  
"Yeah, good idea! We'll just go steal their clothes!"  
"OBJECTION!" Need I clarify the speaker here? "We can't just steal from them; they've been very good to us."  
"It's not like we're taking the clothes permanently," reasoned Junpei. "We're just...borrowing them until we find our real clothes."  
"Oh, alright. Good enough for me."

--  
**The Magical Souvenir Curtain  
(Convenient Appearance When Needed)  
May 31st, Saturday, 4:02 p.m.**  
--

"..."  
"THEY STOLE THESE CLOTHES TOO?!" roared Kouji in pure, unadulterated rage.  
"Wow; these people must really be on a binge," weakly remarked Takuya.  
"Now what?"  
Everyone was silent for a moment. Kouichi in particular seemed very deep in thought, and Izumi asked of him, "Kouichi, what do you think?"  
"Hmm..." He furrowed his brow even deeper, very hard in thought. "I'm trying to think of a way to incorporate a good CSI reference here..."  
"NO CSI references. I hate CSI."  
"Aw, come on..."  
"NO CSI."  
"Oh well, I completed my reference merely by mentioning it."  
"..."

--  
**Walking Through The Halls  
(West Wing Style)  
May 31st, Saturday, 4:06 p.m.**  
--

"We've looked everywhere," sighed Tomoki. "There's no where else to look. Our clothes just aren't here."  
"But that doesn't make any sense," insisted Junpei. "They MUST be somewhere! There MUST be an answer!"  
Kouichi looked deep in thought again. He was staring very hard at the floor for some reason. "Kouichi," warned his brother. "You better not be thinking of making a Yami no Matsuei, Murder, She Wrote, or Getbackers reference."  
"No...I was just thinking...doesn't anyone else find it strange that Bokomon, Neemon, and Patamon aren't here?"  
Silence.  
"Well," said Takuya, sounding a little strained. "I guess...they just...no, I kind of wasn't worried about them. I just wanted to hurry to a bath?"  
"What makes you ask, Kouichi?" inquired Tomoki from below, and Kouichi pointed at his foot.  
"There seems to be something stuck to your heel." Everyone froze as Tomoki lifted his right leg; lo' and behold, there was a little slip of paper, stubbornly stuck to the sole of his foot. Izumi reached down and plucked it off his heel, and then read to the boys:  
"Takuya-han and Gang:  
We have left with the Toucanmon to find a place to wash your clothes. They are very smelly! We will be back very soon!  
Love-  
Bokomon, Neemon, and Patamon."

"Well, that was stupid," scoffed Kouji, who had every intention to returning to the bath, and reapplying shampoo plus adding conditioner to his hair.  
"It was, wasn't it? And they would've gotten away with it too-"  
"Kouichi." Surprisingly, this was Junpei.  
"- if it weren't for that obnoxious scraping noise I only just thought to look into. We basically wasted twenty minutes doing nothing."  
"Well, fine. I guess we're just dumb," cheerfully concluced Takuya, and Tomoki looked sheepish.  
"I guess they left the note on a bin or something. I was so anxious to make sure the Digivices were still there that I must not have noticed it slip off."  
"No harm done," Izumi gently assured him.  
"Yeah, no big deal kid," Junpei agreed.

And so the gang returned to the bath to laugh about the momentary lapse of intelligence of all members, and to finish a long-deserved bath. At least, they were about to before Tomoki suddenly said,  
"But why did our swim trunks and the souvenir clothes disappear?"  
Silence.  
"Well gang, it looks like we got another mystery-"  
"Tomoki," said Kouji with strained calmness. "Some mysteries are just better left unsolved."

And the mystery remained unsolved happily ever after.

--  
**The End  
May 31st, Saturday, 11:48 p.m.**  
--


End file.
